If you’re anything like me, in your 30’s, single, and ready to settle down, you might find yourself wondering… When did dating get so complicated? You met someone from Victoria hearts, you got along, you found them attractive and well… then you were a couple.
Some of the complicgations have come with age. Look around at the dating pool of 30-something’s. It’s dwindled down quite a bit. At this point, you’ve probably noticed most of your friends are married, engaged, having kids, or at the very least…coupled up. People haven’t really started getting divorced yet. There are not many of us left! I’d guess there are more singles in the pool at ages 40 – 50 than there are from 30 – 40.
In addition, at least for women, our priorities have shifted with age. At 22, all we wanted was a cute guy who had killer flip-cup skills and would split a bottle of Skoal vodka with us. We didn’t care that he worked at Starbucks, because, hell…you yourself worked as a waitress at Ponderosa. We didn’t worry about whether he could support a family, be a good father, or get along with our Dad. Now, while we still need to be attracted to a mate, the looks category has taken a back seat to things like stability, ethics, and paternal instincts. Take me for example; here is one automatic deal-breaker.
I won’t date someone that doesn’t have a good job…it doesn’t matter what that job is (as long as it’s legal), but I need to know that one day I can stay home to raise my children and live comfortably. I know we’re in a recession, but it doesn’t matter. No job = no date. So as we age, not only has our dating pool suffered a major drought, we have to weed through a mess, searching for someone who meets our qualifications.
And how do you weed people out? Why facebook of course!!!
Remember what life was like before Google, Facebook, and match com? No? Me either. I mean, HOW we went on a date with a man if we couldn’t stalk him beforehand. Every time I go on a date my friends ask “did you Google him?” And I want to answer: “Yes. It came up as Joe Smith: chronic drug user, the cheater, doesn’t floss his teeth, huge beer gut.” Come on people, what do you think you’re gonna find? Now, Google, of course, is just the first step in a long line of internet-driven psychotic behaviors.
Google is the least of our problems. God forbid you actually have a good date, and you both are on facebook. First of all, you’d think that making the decision to add someone on facebook is like trying to decide the fate of the free world. “What does it mean?” “Should I wait for him to add me first?” “How long do I wait to send a friend request?” We are seriously a bunch of idiots. And when you do take that huge step and add the person as your friend, you have a whole lot of work ahead of you. You then have to meticulously untagged photos, change your bio, and make sure you don’t say anything that could be misconstrued as stupid, desperate, ignorant, etc on your status update. After you censor your own profile, you then become what is now known as a socially-acceptable stalker and go through his entire profile with a fine-toothed comb, over-analyzing every single post he’s ever gotten from any female.
“Who is that girl? Why is his arm around her in that photo? Is he wearing KEDS??? That BETTER be his cousin.…” You constantly check your chat box to see if he’s online and if he will send you a message. You get pulled over for texting while driving, and then try to explain to the officer that you weren’t texting, you were checking your boyfriend’s facebook page every 13 seconds. Just when you think he is ignoring you, you decide that you need to have “the talk.” You know — the one where you discuss if you are going to change your relationship status. Because as well all know, no relationship is to be taken seriously unless you are in a relationship on facebook. The day you change your status to in a relationship, you even get a little heart on your profile and all your friends can “like” it!! OH GOODIE!!!
Facebook is in a neck-in-neck race with internet dating sites like Charmerly to ruin our lives. If you have ever been on match.com, eHarmony.com, plentyoffish.com, etc, you know what I’m talking about. Let me make a little side note that I have witnessed some great relationships come off these sites, but that has not changed my overall perspective. Do you know what advice I got most often when I was on these sites was? “You should be dating a lot of people.” And, WHY would that be? Obviously, because everyone else on that site is doing the same thing. So essentially we are on the whole simply dating a pack of individuals, failing to give one individual a genuine shot; since we are so bustling attempting to make sense of who is best, and if there could be someone better out there in match.com land.
The worst half concerning these sites is that once you move to someone’s profile, it says after they were last online. Thus you’re perpetually trying to examine however typically, and therefore the last time they were online. If it absolutely was inside per week, and that they weren’t on causing YOU a message, you assume they’re seeing people. Then you get pissed and begin causing off winks random-fire as if it’s some kind of revenge. Of course, you’ll ne’er raise the person if they are} chemical analysis people that are like match.com suicide. And therefore the worst factor which will happen to you: he’s “online now!!” no one is aware of the right thanks to handling this case. Does one say hello, does one ignore him, or does one send a psychotic sounding message like “how several different women are your speech, you fucking prick?” Sigh. Fortuitously I gave up net chemical analysis before it caused ME serious permanent mental injury. So, what’s the answer? However can we uncomplicated dating?? Clearly social media has taken our lives by storm, poignant everything from a company selling to our relationships. There are simply merely no thanks to returning to basics. I suppose we tend to simply have to be compelled to live and learn the way to use these tools to our advantage. However, I simply can’t make out how… Thoughts? For more Information browse our website: lovingfeel